Observe your daily routine as well, analyze your behavior!! Fundamentally, you would conclude, life today, is actually the sum of our habits. Statistically, nearly 40 % of the activities that we perform in day-to-day routine are automatic habits rather than conscious decisions.
Now, this means big chunk of the day is in autopilot mode. Just like, brushing your teeth in the morning, or having your cuppa of tea before starting your day! Without realizing it, we engage in many such automatic behaviors and actions every day. So, what are we doing? Just following the same patterns every day……Isn’t It? When we think, feel, and act in a particular way, over a period of time the habits form, not only in our behavior but in memory systems too!
So, habit formation is the process by which a behavior, through regular repetition, becomes automatic or habitual. This ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray. Here, utmost need is to evaluate whether those habits empower or disempower you? Do they help or hinder you from reaching the goal?
So basically, evaluation is essential to understand if a particular habit need a change. Just like, someone wants to break free from laziness or may be wanting to get off the habit of procrastination! Still others who are into junk food or excessive browsing social media or lashing out to people.
We all understand these are bad habits and have no positive return. No one feels good after doing those things. And yet, we keep sticking to our bad habits because we can’t break them.
So, why is it hard to change a habit that you wish to overcome ? Unfortunately, breaking bad habits is difficult because they are 100% dependent on our mental and emotional state. Behavioural scientists who study habit formation say that many of us try to create healthy habits in the wrong way.
Yes, rightly read, it’s just like making bold resolutions of wanting to lose weight, or exercising for example, without planning or taking the steps needed to set ourselves up for getting success in it.
Furthermore, it’s important to spot, that awareness brings acceptance. Unless a person realizes on his own that a habit is bad, or is convinced about the same there is very little chance of that habit to be kicked out.
Well quoted; a change in a habit leads to a change in life!! There is a simple 3-step pattern that every habit follows. Psychologically mentioning this pattern, the “3 R’s of Habit Change” (Created by James Clear.)and it goes like this…
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Reminder: It is a trigger that initiates the behavior! For example, say, your phone rings (reminder). This is the reminder that initiates the behavior. The ring acts as a trigger or cue to tell you to answer the phone. It is the prompt that starts the behavior.
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Routine: It is the behavior itself; the action you take. Like now, you answer your phone (routine). This is the actual behavior. When your phone rings, you have a habit of answering it.
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Reward: It is the benefit you gain from doing the behavior. You find out who is calling (reward). The reward is the benefit gained from doing the behavior. In this case, the reward for completing the habit was satisfying your curiosity to find out why the other person called.
If the reward is positive, you will like to repeat the routine again next time. So, follow this same cycle enough times and you will stop thinking about it. Eventually, this repetition will be a part of your behavior and in turn lead to a new habit!
Ground reality is, internal motivation is equally important! Explore ways to keep yourself motivated! It’s true, a person going through these times can fall into a cycle of negative thinking and a thought that he can do nothing, can make him feel dejected, hence, he may stop trying altogether.
Another proven method to build a new habit is called the 21/90 rule. The rule is simple enough. Commit to a personal or professional goal for 21 straight days. After three weeks, the pursuit of that goal should have become a habit. Once you have established that habit, you continue to do it for another ninety days.
When you start with a new habit, start small. How small? If you want to develop a habit of reading, start with 10 minutes a day with something that interests you. Gradually, you gain interest, and are bound to increase the duration too. Make it so easy that you can’t say no!
Do come out of the comfort zone! Sometimes forcing yourself to a new habit also works well and gives you surprising results.
Habits are not set in stone, they can definitely be changed with some effort and time…..
GOOD LUCK!!
Arti Desai
(Counseling Psychologist)
4th January 2022